


Love

by Julia_Odvina



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Introspection, Self-Insert, kind of a character study?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Odvina/pseuds/Julia_Odvina
Summary: Love can be many things.This is love when it comes to the boys.Enjoy!
Relationships: Mineo Enomoto/Original Female Character(s), Okazaki Kei/Original Female Character(s), Shiraishi Kageyuki/Original Female Character(s), Takeru Sasazuka/Original Female Character(s), Yanagi Aiji/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	Love

With Takeru, love is calm.  
I don't have much to say about how I feel about him because we just click. It feels very harmonious. We're like a well-oiled machine, working together seamlessly. It's weird to say but we definitely vibe. It just feels right. We're both very blunt and sassy and I find that very funny. If we have any grievances or complaints, we say them and get them out of the way. We don't hold back on our thoughts or opinions of each other. We say what we need to say and don't say what doesn't need to be said. We balance each other out. Our relationship is very simple in the way that we take and give, receive and accept. He's got my back and I got his. The fact that I don't have a lot to say about how I feel about him says a lot in it of itself. It's not very extravagant but it's certainly solid. 

With Mineo, love is sweet. He's so sweet. So, so, sweet. And so clumsy with his love. He's a bit of a fool but I don't dislike that side of his. He's very endearing and it makes me want to wish him the best and root for him every step of the way. Our relationship is a little too embarrassing at times because of his antics but very wholesome nonetheless. Mineo is very sincere and he doesn't put on airs or feel like he needs to be someone he's not, and I feel that sincerity is very important for a person to have. Our relationship is simple in a different way than with Takeru's. It's just the simple pleasures of love. 

With Kei, love is complex. I see Kei as someone with very much the same thought process and similar issues as myself. His wish or rather used to be wish, resonates deeply with me. I genuinely see no value in my own self and doubt that I deserve his life in exchange for my own. It upsets me that he would so readily throw away his life for me. But as he says later on, he was selfish for wanting that. Just like me, he's focused on himself and never really thought about what other people thought of his wishes. Seeing him grow and gain more self-awareness, really made me respect him more as a person. I'm glad that he's growing and that he'll continue to grow with me by his side. I'm very glad that I can help him know and understand himself better. I'm thankful that he's showing all of himself and not just the good parts. Not just anyone can do the things he's done. Our relationship is weird and like I said earlier, complex, but I'll always be by his side ready to help him in any way I can. If I can't do that for myself, then I can at least do that for him. He did say he wanted to know and understand me, and most of all, protect my heart. Protecting me, heart and all, is no easy task, but if he's willing to go that far for me, then I'm just as willing to go just as far for him.

With Kageyuki, love is pure. He's so pure in his wish for my happiness. He wants to make me happy because I gave him warmth. He wants to return just as much as he's been given. Just like with Kei, he and I are very, very similar. The fact that he can earnestly wish for my happiness despite knowing all that I am is--  
It's everything. It means everything to me. Surprisingly, I don't have much to say about how I feel about him either. Like with Takeru, the fact that I can't find the words to express how much I really love and adore him, says a lot. His wish is the most heartfelt and loving thing I could ever receive really. The fact that someone wishes for my happiness that much when I don't even have the courage to love myself… Need I say anything more? The only thing I can do for him, is to take him by the hands and just as earnestly wish for his happiness. Our relationship is nothing if heartfelt. We're both clumsy at being humans but if we can both be happy together in the end, then it's all I can really ask for. 

And last but certainly not least, Aiji.  
With Aiji, love is kind. This man is the definition of kindness and consideration. From the very start, he was the one to validate my thoughts and feelings. He's so incredibly attentive and sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of others. And of course, his own thoughts and feelings as well. I really appreciate his courage in moving past his, well, past, and the fact that I was able to help him with that--I feel like I've been given the trust I don't think I deserve. But he knows better, and knows that I do deserve to be trusted. That I myself, am valid. Aiji watched over Mineo when he didn't know what to believe in anymore. He treated Kageyuki like a human being and never like the doll he was originally supposed to be. He's always watching over me, and continues to watch over me right at my side. Our relationship is comfort in all the comfort kindness can bring. 

All these boys have entrusted me with themselves, I have entrusted them with myself in return.

It feels so heartening to be the reason these boys can be the very best version of themselves. I'm so incredibly grateful that I could be a part of their world and their stories. 

Thank you for loving me.  
And I will continue to love you as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, another word dump. Hooray!


End file.
